Tag: Leave of absence

Hear the one about kinky priest?

Stacy McCain, pervert, and Crimson Tide fan, is all over this one!

Was something kinky happening in the rectory of a Catholic church in Springfield, Illinois? That would seem to be the implication of this story:

The pastor of St. Aloysius church on Springfield’s north end has been granted a leave of absence after he called 911 from the rectory and told a dispatcher that he needed help getting out of handcuffs.
“I’m going to need help getting out before this becomes a medical emergency,” Father Tom Donovan told a dispatcher who sounds a bit incredulous during the Nov. 28 call.
“You’re stuck in a pair of handcuffs?” the dispatcher asks.
“(I was) playing with them and I need help getting out,” Donovan responds.
Donovan told the dispatcher that he was alone in the rectory. It’s not clear exactly how he ended up in handcuffs or why he feared a medical emergency. His voice sounds garbled or muffled on the tape, and sources say that police discovered some sort of gag on the priest when they arrived.

Exit question. Is a handcuffed priest symbolic of what the Bama defense will do to Notre Dame’s offense?


BAD Elmo, BAD!

The Other McCain give us the shocking details of what he calls a Furry Red Humping Machine

The man who voices the puppet of Elmo on Sesame Street has taken leave amid allegations he had a sexual relationship with a 16-year-old boy.

Kevin Clash, 52, has taken a leave of absence from the popular children’s show after the programme’s lawyers were contacted by a 23-year-old man who claims he had a sexual relationship with the puppeteer seven years ago, when he was aged 16.
TMZ, who reported the allegations, said that Mr Clash had admitted he had a relationship with the man, but only after the accuser was an adult and said the accusations were both false and defamatory.
‘I had a relationship with [the accuser]. It was between two consenting adults and I am deeply saddened that he is trying to make it into something it was not,’ said Mr Clash . . .

So, Elmo admits he’s a gay Muppet who pursues sex with men less than half his age, but insists that he scrupulously avoids sex with those who are under the age of legal consent, so that the day before your 18th birthday, you’re strictly off-limits, but the minute you are legally an adult, you’re fair game for the Furry Red Humping Machine.

What is next? A Massage Me Elmo doll, complete with a massage table?