Think I am joking? Moonbattery would disagree
According to progressive ideology, milk makes it be too hot out (see here and here) and worse yet is racist (see here and here and here). That’s why social engineers want us to drink cockroach milk instead (see here and here). Not only is the liberal media pushing it, but also businesses:
Using a 2016 report on the benefits of insect dairy, scientists found that the Pacific Beetle cockroach of Hawaii possesses nutrient-filled milk crystals, which they use to feed their young. “A single crystal is estimated to contain more than three times the energy of an equivalent mass of dairy milk,” the report stated. …
Some companies are already trying to get ahead of the trend by selling the bug juice in everything from milk to ice cream. “Think of Entomilk as a sustainable, nature-friendly, nutritious, lactose free, delicious, guilt-free dairy alternative of the future,” South African company Gourmet Grubb writes.
Who needs fiction when we have moonbats?
You cannot make these things up
Police in the historic fishing village of Sebastian were dispatched after a domestic dispute between two homosexual men ended up with one nursing a head wound from a novelty fish.
It what may be remembered in local lore as the Big Mouth Billy Bass beat down, the cops arrested 54-year-old Gregory Carney on a domestic battery charge following a quarrel over the popular singing fish replica resulted in bodily harm.
52-year-old Larry Timmerman was smacked in the dome by his lover of 17 years after he became agitated over being teased with Big Mouth Billy which threw in the trash after becoming sufficiently pissed.
The two came to blows after Timmerman confronted Carney over the missing musical fish.
Whichever it is nature hates his ass
893.35 quadrillion to one. That’s the likelihood of what’s happened to 20-year-old Dylan McWilliams. He was bitten by a shark, attacked by a bear, and bitten by a rattlesnake—all in just over three years.
Last week, McWilliams of Grand Junction in western Colorado was body boarding off the island of Kauai, Hawaii, when he felt something hit his leg. “I saw the shark underneath me. I started kicking at it—I know I hit it at least once—and swam to shore as quickly as I could,” McWilliams told the BBC. The wound required seven stitches and the teeth marks suggested it was a tiger shark.
While shark attacks get all the media attention, you’re more likely to be attacked by a bear. McWilliams, who has been backpacking across the U.S. and Canada for the past few years, also managed to beat 1 in 2.1 million odds of being injured by a bear. Last July, a black bear bit him on the head while he was sleeping on a camping trip in Colorado. He escaped by poking the bear in its eye. Park authorities caught the bear, found McWilliams’ blood under the bear’s claws, and put the animal down. It took nine staples to the back of his head to close McWilliams’ wounds.
Maybe not so surprisingly given McWilliams’ luck, he managed to stumble onto a rattlesnake while hiking in Utah in 2015. He said the bite had little venom in it and decided not to go to the hospital, even though he was sick for a couple of days. The odds of being bitten by a venomous snake in the U.S. are estimated at 1 in 37,500. (The odds of being killed in a car accident are far more frightening at 1 in 112.)
If you see this guy anywhere outdoors, egt the heck away
Things like drinking mimosas, ordering an ice water with lemon to go along with a beer or mixed drink are signs that men, are, well, fading away. And do not get me started on men drinking “skinny margaritas” or dressing up like lumberjacks And, now, there is the surest sign yet that manhood is DOA! Via It Ain’t Holy Water, comes news of the rompers for “men”. Yes, you read that right, and it is as bad as you might think
Good Freaking Grief!
A severe case of first world problems
According to the document, Jonathan Anozie claims that Papa John’s started texting him in March, reports
CNet. It’s unclear just how many texts there were total. Anozie claims that the messages were in violation of the Telephone Consumer Protection Act, and says Papa John’s should pay $500 for each one.
One of the sample texts reads: “Papa John’s: This Deal>>ANY 2 Large Pizzas up to 5-Toppings or Specialty for $9.99 each. Code: Text325 Thru 3/27 @http://PapaJohns.com/n. Reply STOP to cancel.”
Anozie says he texted back “STOP” many times, but Papa John’s just kept on trying to lure him in with its deals on large pies.
Anozie’s lawyer Trinette G. Kent says all of these texts caused her client emotional distress. “Defendant’s calls directly and substantially interfered with Plaintiff’s right to peacefully enjoy a service that Plaintiff paid for and caused Plaintiff to suffer a significant amount of anxiety, frustration, and annoyance,” she writes.
I wonder if Captain Whiny Pants ever called Papa Johns and tried to handle this without a lawsuit? I doubt it, he saw $$$$$. I guess not all the Special Snowflakes are college students