WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a recent interview with a female representative of the segment of the human species identifying as female, Biden made a strong case for why all women everywhere should vote for him without question, or at least let him sniff their hair.
“Look, the thing, you know what it is,” Biden said. “The womenfolk know what’s at stake in this election. It’s hairy simple. Just let me vote on you, or you vote for me, the vote, b-b-b-blond applesauce baloney. Simple choice. If you don’t let me smell your hair, you ain’t a woman!” Biden then sat back in his chair with a smile, having “totally nailed” another interview.