All right thinking people know we must do everything possible to avoid cultural appropriation and to be an ally to the oppressed peoples/cultures that are perpetually aggrieved, running around demanding attention for their latest fit of pique. What’s that? How may we best serve as credulous allies to such unbalanced, perhaps even psychotic, people? Why, by feeding their delusions, of course.
So in that pursuit, I modestly propose, gentle readers, that we jump solidly on the cultural appropriation bandwagon. After all, if everything relating to American culture is bad, the oppressed peoples/culture of the world will be delighted to throw off their oppression, starting with blue jeans. They’ll be ecstatic when they no longer have to be burdened by American movies, American guitars–who needs a Les Paul anyway?—American music, penicillin, McDonald’s, Kentucky Fried Chicken, iPhones, iPads, iWatches, and every future “i” anything Apple can conceive. Then there are Nikes, Playboy and all similar magazines, barbeque and various iconic firearms.
Come to think of it, we need to revoke the benefits of our involvement in WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam—nah, we’ve pretty much done that already, and John Kerry helped—The Persian Gulf War—right, Obama already did that—and particularly Western novels and movies. I’ll kind of miss the Clint Eastwood spaghetti westerns, but we have to sacrifice for the greater good.
They’ll have to give up airplanes, and anyone that made it to America by air has to leave right now—reparations, you know—but they can’t fly. Hope they’re good swimmers.
Yep, that might show these miscreants some reality. Or, more likely they will just make up something new to be perpetually peeved over!