So, some smarmy Cruz supporters decided to attack Donald Trump’s wife over the fact that the former model posed nude in GQ magazine back in 2000. This they did on the eve of Tuesday’s Utah caucus for obvious religious reasons, and Ted – who claims he knew nothing about the smear campaign beforehand – didn’t bother condemning them for it.
Predictably, Donald Trump decided to respond in kind, insinuating that Cruz’s wife is ugly in comparison to his own and threatening to “spill the beans” on Heidi Cruz, whatever that means.
With equal predictability, Ted Cruz hit back, calling The Donald a “sniveling coward”, and warning him to leave his wife “the hell alone.”
Last night, that bastion of journalistic integrity known as the National Enquirer jumped into the mix, releasing a story which claims that Cruz has had five extramarital affairs over the years. So far, two of the women named by the Enquirer, Katrina Pierson and Amanda Carpenter, have denied the allegations, and now Ted Cruz is blaming “sleazy Donald” Trump – who is friends with the Enquirer’s CEO – for planting the story.
This afternoon, Trump posted on his facebook page that he had “absolutely nothing to do with” the National Enquirer story, adding that “unlike Lyin’ Ted Cruz I do not surround myself with political hacks and henchman and then pretend total innocence.”
In the meantime, neither Ted nor Donald is spending much time talking about the fact that the current President of the United States just told a bunch of Argentinians that there’s essentially no difference between Capitalism and Communism. They’ve also neglected to righteously hammer Hillary Clinton for being a provable felon, as well as an habitual liar who should be sitting in a jail cell right now awaiting prosecution for crimes too numerous to enumerate.
Oh well, I guess people have their priorities. After all, it’s not like the country will be irreversibly harmed or anything if the Wicked Witch of Benghazi gets into the Oval Office next January.
Oh wait, YES IT WILL!