Yet another imagined “cultural stigma” for the Left to fight against

This time it is an imaginary stigma against “touching yourself”. Liberals LOVE to feel oppressed, they love to feel like they are victims, and they love to pretend they are “stigmatized”. Yes, sorry Liberals, but there really is no “stigma” against pleasuring yourself. Most folks do it, even prudes do it. Of course they wear a blindfold so as not to see themselves getting their solo freak on, but, I am pretty sure even they, well you know. I am also pretty sure no one is unaware that most people do it either. The difference is normal folks accept it, without obsessing over it. We really do not care if our neighbor waxes his weasel, or gets it on with Mr. Happy Vibrations, that is their PRIVATE business. Ah, private, that is the key word here. We do not want to share personal tales, and we do not want to hear yours. We do not wish to give out awards for masturbating either. Well, OK, if you do it standing on your head while watching midget porn and wearing a hockey mask, that might make us perk our ears up a bit, but, for the most part, no one cares!

Liberals, of course, do not grasp that other folks might not care. To them, THAT is stigmatizing their solo eroticism. So, they must fight back against the stigmatizing stigmatizers, who are putting stigmas on the poor masturbating Liberals. And, when loony Leftists “fight back” they are very entertaining. Over at Viral Read for example you can learn about Happy, your friendly neighborhood vagina.

Apparently, some women are too stupid to find their own vaginas. (Pro tip: You can Google it.) In order to assist the anatomically ignorant, designer Tina Gong has created “Happy Playtime,” a Web site that features an animated cartoon of the aforesaid ladyparts that women who flunked sixth-grade biology class could not otherwise locate.


Ladies: Is this (a) helpful or (b) vaguely creepy? Dora the Clitoral Explorer? “Happy Playtime”explains:

Getting you to touch yourself since 1989.
Sexuality is one of the most basic instincts of human beings. Being comfortable with your own sexual pleasure is a prerequisite to both being able to healthily accept pleasure from others, and pleasing others. How can you exchange pleasure with someone else if you don’t understand what your own body likes? That’s why masturbation, and learning how to masturbate is such a fundamental life lesson.
Unfortunately for many women, there has been a cultural stigma that blocks access to self-stimulation. HAPPYPLAYTIME is here to eliminate this barrier as much as possible. By talking openly and lightheartedly about female masturbation, we are taking the first step to becoming truly sexually liberated.

You may have thought you were sexually liberated, but you weren’t “truly sexually liberated” because you had never seen a dancing cartoon vagina that you can download on your iPhone (yes, there’s an app for that).

Judging from this “mission” statement, the problem that Tina Gong’s cartoon vagina is supposed to solve is not that women can’t find their genitalia, but the “cultural stigma” that makes them feel bad about … doing whatever it is they do with it, as often as Tina Gong does it, which seems to be pretty much all the time.

So far, reactions to “Happy Playtime” have been unfortunately boring. Daisy Buchanan of the Guardian tediously tells us she was one of the “clueless virgins at my all-girls school” who was ashamed of the lonely things she did to her adolescent self: “Masturbation was my biggest teenage secret. … Now I’m marginally older and wiser, I am proud to out myself as a wanker. Masturbating should not be a source of shame.”

Thanks for sharing too much information, you dirty, dirty girl!

See what I mean, this is not about fighting stigmas at all. This is really about Leftists saying “look at me”. I am naughty, look at me damn you, LOOK AT ME! Well, sorry, but we do not really want to look at you, especially with your pants off. Again, that is PRIVATE, keep it to yourself, and if you must divulge your self-love do not expect everyone to want to give you a standing ovation, because most of us accept that as a private thing. In other words, excuse us if we do not want a detailed account of your self-pleasuring expertise. Stacy McCain has some more thoughts, and blames Cosmo for their tired old themes

This has been one of my pet peeves for at least 15 years: Why is it that every single issue of Cosmo has a “how to masturbate” article or a “how to have better orgasms” article or some variation thereof? And why are these magazines in racks at the supermarket checkout line, so that the minute your kids learn to read, they’re confronted with cover-blurb headlines like “Super Sex Secrets to Drive Him Wild”?

Beyond the offensiveness of having this lurid smutty stuff thrust into my daughter’s face — to teach her the “empowering” lesson that the most important thing in life is driving men wild in bed — is the absurd redundancy of it. Stipulate the hypothetical that there are women:

A. Too stupid to figure this out without expert advice;
B. Sufficiently literate to read a magazine article.

Even with those stipulations, do they need to read endless reiterations of the same basic “lesson” — and face it, Cosmo has been recycling the same Drive-Him-Wild sex article since 1973 — every single month?

You don’t have to be a prude to be offended by these monthly magazine sex sermons. You just need the critical thinking capacity to realize that nobody really needs this kind of advice. Human beings were having sex successfully a long time before we had magazine articles by “experts” telling us we weren’t doing it right. (By the way, most sex-advice articles are actually written by underpaid 20-something recent college graduates breaking into the magazine business, who are mainly “experts” at eating Ramen noodles and shopping at thrift stores.)

The whole “Drive Him Wild” approach to the subject is wrongheaded, suggesting that happiness is a matter of technique. Here’s the best advice you’ll ever get, ladies: If you’re not happy with your sex life, you’re not going to find the answer in Cosmo.

Anybody can learn mere technique without benefit of magazine articles, simply by imagination and trial-and-error.

“Does that feel good?”
“Yeah, but maybe try it a little faster.”
“Oh. Oh. Ohhhhhh …”

Seriously, if you don’t know how to have sex without reading Cosmo, you don’t have a sex problem, you have a stupidity problem.



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