This song made me realize something, and healed my broken heart too, the beginning of the rest of the story

Yesterday, I posted this video and teased a personal story, and today,  I start to finish the story.

The story, begins in 2oo1. I had, at the time made a decision that the concept of friendship was just a sad joke. It took years for me to reach this conclusion, years and lots of being stabbed in the back, or let down, or having friends simply turn away from me. The final straw was my friendship with a woman, yes, it was strictly a friendship nothing more. We met in 1989, we worked together, starting going out to movies, lunch, and became good friends. In 1992, I became her roommate, and we got along great, we were truly best friends, it was great.

Then, about a year into the roommate status, she started distancing herself from me. We hung out less, she just started slowly shutting me out. It turns out that some co-workers of hers, upon finding out she had a male roommate, started putting the idea in her head that I was “after” her. It hurt that people who did not even know me would stick their nose in my friendship, and it made me angry that my long time friend would not only believe them, but would treat me as less, far less, than the “best friend” she had called me.

We talked it out, but it just was not the same, and in 1995, I came to Texas, partly, OK mostly to get away from that situation. We still talked, visited each other a few times, but, the friendship was not the same. Over time, I saw that we would never be close like we had been, I was bitter, and heart-broken and basically just stopped seeking friendships. I just was too afraid of feeling that pain again.

So, I had buddies over the next nine years or so, and I was lonely sure, but no one was going to hurt me again, no sir! Friendship had broken my heart, and trusting anyone as a friend was just not something I wanted. Then, something, or someone happened There was this girl at work, she had worked there off and on for  a couple of years. She was a kid, 18, and she would always make a point of talking to me, and after a while I started to really like this kid, no, not like THAT, get your minds out of the gutter. We started texting back and forth, and she, I guess, looked up to me. We started getting closer, every time we saw each other we hugged, and I started to admire this kid, I started to believe in friendship once more.

Yes, I was scared, nervous, afraid to reach out, so I talked to her, told her about my past, and explained that I really liked her and wanted her friendship, and after that, I surrendered to that friendship. We got closer, she shared her dreams and hurts with me. I made a point never to pry into her dating life, it was not my business, what she shared was her call not mine.

Time went by, and I admired this kid, we talked every day, and I became incredibly grateful she had come into my life. Because of our schedules, and the age difference, we only hung out a few times. I was happy with our friendship, and we just seemed to get closer, and her friendship made me want to be a better person. I mended fences with people I had hurt. This kid had quickly become almost like a daughter to me, and the impact she had on my life was incredible. And the deep emotional attachment I had with her was something I had never had before.

I figured that some day, she would go away to school, or join the military, another thing we talked a lot about. I was prepared to have to say goodbye, and I was prepared for her meeting some guy and not having as much time for our talks. These things I knew might come, but that would have made me smile for her.  I was not ready, not at all, however for October 12, 2010. But more on that tomorrow, my eyes are getting tad wet here…………..

3 thoughts on “This song made me realize something, and healed my broken heart too, the beginning of the rest of the story”

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