Son Robs Father Over Erect Penis… Wait, What?

Son Robs Father Over Erect Penis… Wait, What? – Weekly Vice

David Miller, a 30-year-old New York man was jailed after he allegedly tried to rob his father at knife-point, demanding money for drugs that he hoped would provide relief from pain associated with long-term penis erections.

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Did you get all that? Let’s see if we can clarify this a little.

According to New York police, Miller broke into his father’s home in Manhattan, pulled a out a knife and demanded money. The father refused to give him money, and instead called police and had his son arrested.

Investigators say Miller attempted to rob his father because he is addicted to Oxycontin and suffers from a rare disease called priapism, which causes painful, uncontrollable erections that can last for up to six hours.

Miller’s father told local media that his son has suffered from the disease since childhood in addition to having an enzyme deficiency. He was prescribed Oxycontin for the pain, but has now become addicted to the drug.

Miller was booked into Rikers Island jail and charged with burglary and attempted robbery. He was released after his father posted his $5,000 cash bond.

The picture above is Tommy Miller, the suspect’s father. The image was taken during an interview with local media.

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2 thoughts on “Son Robs Father Over Erect Penis… Wait, What?”

  1. The young man could have saved himself the trouble and simply looked at a picture of Pelosi or any of the rogues gallery of liberal women. Hell, 30 seconds watching The View should have put ol’ Woody in full retreat…

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