Donald Trump For President – A Stream Of Consciousness

Ed considers the issue of a Trump candidacy… while drinking heavily.

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I demand to see Donald Trump’s Certificate of Live Hair!

First I was a “birther”, now I’m a “scalper”.

Like Obama’s birth certificate, Trump’s hair is definitely layered.

Did you know that Donald Trump’s barber is from Kenya? True story… I heard it on the Alex Jones show.

Trump just signed a deal with Penguin Books to publish his autobiography titled ‘Audacity of Brill Cream’. It’s rumored that former Congressman James Traficant may ghost-write it.

BREAKING: This just in… Donald Trump and James Trafficant have decided to formally endorse a new political movement called the Wig Party.

The one positive thing about a possible Trump presidency is the fact that I’ll get to spend at least four years referring to him as the Combover-in-Chief. COMEDY GOLD!

I can’t wait for the inevitable VP edition of ‘The Apprentice’, wherein The Donald devises challenging, yet demeaning tasks for his potential running mates to perform. I’m especially looking forward to the episode in which he turns to Ron Paul and says: YOU’RE FIRED!

His ratings would go through the roof!

We’re talking pay-per-view potential here!

I need to submit the idea to him before somebody beats me to it… I’m only asking for 3 percent of the royalties.

Ya know, the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that the best move for The Donald would be for him to choose his hair as his running mate.

Joe Biden would have a tough time beating Trump’s hair in a debate.

Some have argued that Trump’s hair is actually the one in charge, and that the rest of him is just an ugly appendage.

The problem, however, is that Trump’s hair may well be an illegal alien… the jury’s still out on that.

Interesting: The Donald recently told the Chinese to go f*** themselves. Of course, he basically said the same thing to his ex-wives, yet the alimony continues.

Q.) If Donald Trump really were a “carnival barker”, as Barack Obama has implied, would you ever go to a carnival again? Just askin’.

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